Some girl just took 5 minutes explaining to my environmental science class that greenhouse gases aren’t actually green. I can’t remember her whole speech but she did throw in this gem:

“It’s just a saying….like….it’s raining cats and dogs.”

I really hope she’s a theater major.

Student: You know that Justin Bieber’s music videos have over 100 million hits on YouTube.

Professor: It’s over. The terrorists have won.

Girl: I love Justin Bieber!!!

Professor: You should be considered an enemy of the state.

My teacher just wrote on my facebook wall:

Stop facebooking. I get a little update every time you write a note to somebody on this stupid site. You got a 62% on your last test. Open a book.

Professor: “Anyone have tickets for the game tonight?”

(Two students raise their hands)

Professor: “Drink lots of herbal tea and enjoy your day off.”

Professor:

“I married young. I got my girlfriend pregnant at a very young age – Not really sure how that happened.”

I’m trying to bang out a paper in the library. There is a girl sitting in the cubicle opposite mine. Her study aids appear to be some kind of fruit chewing gum, which she chomps on extremely loudly while blasting Wildcat by Ratatat through her iPod. The combination of overpowering gum stench, chewing sounds, and [...]]]> [GWU]

I’m trying to bang out a paper in the library. There is a girl sitting in the cubicle opposite mine. Her study aids appear to be some kind of fruit chewing gum, which she chomps on extremely loudly while blasting Wildcat by Ratatat through her iPod. The combination of overpowering gum stench, chewing sounds, and leaking electro-rock rendered my brain totally useless.

I lean over the table to politely ask the orange-faced, pink-nailed female to turn down the music a little bit. Rather than the polite “oh, so sorry, sure thing”, that I was expecting, miss fake tan glares back at me with dead eyes, snickers, collects her things, and moves to a far away table. Fate smiles upon the brave.

Student 1: There’s a rumor that Justin Bieber is coming to UCLA.

Student 2: Let’s hope he doesn’t hit puberty by then.

Student: I thought elephants laid eggs. Professor: How the hell did you get into Harvard?